Love in the time of *gestures vaguely* all of this
On Sept. 6, 2020, I married my partner of six years. It wasn’t the wedding we wanted, but it was the one we needed.
When news of the COVID-19 pandemic broke, we talked back and forth it for weeks. No point in being hasty, we agreed. But the more projections were released, the less likely a September gathering of 100 seemed. Even if we were “allowed” to gather, would travel restricted be lifted? Would it be ethical to gather?
In the end, I realized the sparkling gown stored in my mother’s closet would have to stay in its garment bag a while longer. We pushed our date with the venue to 2021. I cancelled ordered for favours and flowers, then purchased a pair of masks instead of a pair of rings. I tried to give myself compassion while also putting things in perspective. There are disappointed brides around the world right now. People are dying and their families can’t even have proper funerals.
We called off our wedding, but we did not call off our marriage. Alex and I had been engaged since August 2017. Waiting another year to wear the dress was fine with me. However, I didn’t want to wait any longer to get married. For the legal ceremony, we kept our original date and invited two close friends to be witnesses: our only guests besides the videographer and Justice of the Peace.
Many people tried to comfort us by saying, “This will be better anyway.” I don’t know if it was better — there are many friends and family members I would have liked to be there. That said, we didn’t have to invite anyone out of obligation. I did my own makeup. I wore a floral headband I bought from Black Market Boutique several years ago. It was all about being together and little else.
I’m not sure what next year will bring. No one does, I guess. At least I have something from 2020 to treasure.
